


Never Have I Ever

by orphan_account



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-06
Updated: 2013-01-06
Packaged: 2017-11-23 20:35:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/626268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account





	Never Have I Ever

Now that Emma and Mary Margaret had finally returned to Storybrooke, Emma resumed her duties as sheriff. She would get to wear the badge again; she would get to pace in front of the jail cell, full of concentration. Also David would finally have to give up wearing those dumb gun straps. Storybrooke was delighted. 

During Emma's first night back on the job, she had to break up a fight at Granny's. The townspeople were getting drunk and gossiping about Regina, like they did almost every night, only this time Regina was getting drunk with them, and then Emma got a phone call from Granny, who was so pissed off that she sounded like she was scolding Emma even though Emma hadn't done anything wrong: "Regina is trying to punch David in the face, and Mary Margaret is crying, and I'm afraid Ruby is going to start crying next. You need to get down here now." 

At the diner, Ruby rushed to greet Emma at the door. “It started out as an innocent game of 'Never have I ever,'” she explained, wobbling a little, steadying herself by holding onto Emma's shoulder. Clearly she had been participating in the game, too. “But then it got ugly... Whale refused to take a shot when Regina said, 'Never have I ever ejaculated into a nun's used panties.' She said he was a liar, she had proof from that mirror of hers.” 

Ruby continued, “Then David said perverts shouldn't throw stones in glass houses, and accused Regina of keeping Graham as her sex slave. That's when she got really mad.”

Emma glanced behind the counter, where Granny was restraining Regina, pinning both of her arms behind her back. Emma couldn't believe someone like Granny could actually hold Regina back, but then she remembered Granny probably had her share of experience with Ruby's wolf... stuff. 

Mary Margaret was seated in a booth next to David, pressing a bag of frozen peas against his swollen eye. 

“What the hell?” Emma asked. “Regina, what is your problem?”

Regina untangled herself from Granny, slapping at her hands. “I'm apparently surrounded by fucking Puritans,” she slurred, still seeming somehow dignified even when wasted. “Like your closets aren't full of skeletons too. I know. Wait til you hear what Ruby does in the shower—”

Ruby blushed, tears welling up in her eyes. 

“Oh, Ruby, we all do that,” Emma said dismissively. She approached the counter and pulled out her handcuffs, threatening to take Regina into custody if she didn't calm down. “I think it's time for you to sober up, Madam Mayor,” Emma said. 

“Sure,” Regina said, shrugging. “I had more fun drinking with the witch who has her eyes sewn shut, anyway.” As Emma lead her out the door, Regina called, “Hey, Cricket, does Geppeddo know about your Daddy/boy fetish?”

 

*

They drank coffee together inside Emma's parked yellow VW bug. She put the heat on and switched on the radio—that Tiffany song from the 80s was playing, _I think we're alone now_. Regina was mostly quiet, possibly fuming; but Emma found herself unexpectedly talkative, rambling on about her own irritation with the townspeople. Even Mary Margaret and David, who, as much as she loved them, were starting to get on her nerves because of how _good_ they were always acting. “And come on, really, who's that good all the time?” Emma was saying. A part of her was rushing to reassure Regina, make it so she wasn't embarrassed by what the townspeople had accused her of—though the other part of Emma wondered if it was possible for Regina to feel shame. But suddenly Emma was telling Regina, “I have skeletons of my own, too. There have been a few times I was curious about how girls have sex with each other, and I actually went to these porn sites...”

Regina groaned, leaning her forehead against the window glass as if she were trappd.

“Some of them use these, like, fake dicks, did you know that? With a little belt thing around their waist. Really creative...” 

“It's called a strap-on.”

“Oh yeah.” Emma swallowed, beginning to get nervous. “Well. It seemed kind of hot to me.”

Regina turned her head to look away from the window and stare at Emma's face. Emma was relieved it was dark; her face was getting hot, probably turning red. 

“What?” Emma asked, blowing in her coffee even though it had already gone cold.

“Why did you just tell me that?”

“I thought maybe it would make you feel better about—you know—about the townspeople making fun of you for your sex stuff.”

“How thoughtful of you,” Regina said, sounding amused. “Does anyone else know?”

“That I'm officially bi-curious or whatever? I don't think so.”

“Not even Mary Margaret?”

“Ew, God, I hope not.” Emma shuddered. “Ever since I found out she's my mom, we've kind of tried to avoid talking about sex.”

“Are you telling me this because you want me to do something about it?”

“What?”

“I honestly can't tell if you're really this dumb, or if you're only playing dumb for me right now.”

“What?”

Regina sighed, opening the lid of her coffee, showing Emma the empty Styrofoam cup. “I'm finished,” she said. “I feel mostly sober again. I'd like you to take me home.” 

“Are you sure?”

“Now, Sheriff Swan.”

*

Emma pulled up to Regina's manor and asked if she could come in to use the bathroom. Inside, after she was finished, she flushed the toilet and opened the bathroom door, and there was Regina, seated on her couch, her legs crossed, still in her high heels, staring at Emma, saying, “You didn't wash your hands.”

“Whoops,” Emma said, retreating the bathroom, rinsing off her hands and wiping them on her jeans. “So I guess I should get going. Unless...”

“Unless what?”

“I could stay a little while longer.” 

“It's interesting,” Regina remarked, standing up from the couch. “Everyone thinks I forced Graham, that I took him against his will.” She approached Emma until there were only a few inches between them. “But you're practically begging me to fuck you.” 

“No, I wasn't, I mean, I'm not,” Emma said, her voice desperately high-pitched, ringing false even to herself. “I just wanted to make sure you weren't going to get into any more trouble...” She trailed off, staring down at her boots. She felt like an idiot.

“What makes you think I even want to?” Regina said softly, stroking Emma's face. “What makes you think I would want to fuck someone like you?”

“I'm sorry,” Emma said, her words jumbling together. “I didn't—I thought if—but I—”

“Stop talking so much,” Regina said, running her finger along the neck of Emma's tank top, where the material met her skin. “You aren't very good at talking. Right now I only want you to say one word for me.”

Emma, lured by Regina's touch like it was a kind of hypnosis, leaned in and tried to kiss Regina. But Regina took a step back from her, smiling. “Say please.”

“Oh,” Emma said. “Please.” 

Regina kissed her. 

*

Regina's closet was _literally_ full, though not of skeletons, but of shoes, blazers, and sex toys. Regina was lying on top of the neatly-made bed, wearing nothing except a black bra and red underwear covered in black lace. She had told Emma to rummage through the big trunk in her closet and pick out the toys she wanted to try with Regina. Some of the things Emma didn't even recognize, had no idea how they would be used—metal chains with little clips on the end, a short strap of leather with some kind of red ball in the middle. But when she came across what Regina had called a strap-on—a harness with thin black straps, a black dildo at the base, medium-sized—her eyes lit up and she felt herself get even more turned on. She placed it daintily on the bed, next to Regina's legs. Regina laughed. Emma tried to remember if she had ever heard Regina laugh like that before—she sounded surprised and pleased, almost happy.

Regina was like no man Emma had been with—and like no woman she'd ever known, either. She was completely unromantic and almost cruel, and cold, but also measured and painfully thoughtful. She pinned Emma down, did not take Emma's clothes off for what seemed like hours; with her hand she rubbed Emma's crotch through her jeans, grabbed her shirt in a ball in her fist, pulling her up from the bed then slamming her back down. Finally she flipped Emma over and pushed her back down on the bed, onto her stomach, pressing her face into the pillow, telling Emma to pull down her pants and underwear. Emma heard the sound of the harness being fastened; almost instinctively, Emma got up on all fours and arched her back.

“What a smart girl,” Regina said, possibly sarcastic. 

She entered Emma easily, sliding in, pumping slowly at first, gently. When her rhythm became hard and fast, Emma barely noticed. It still wasn't enough.

“Such a greedy little cunt,” Regina panted, her voice breaking with each new thrust. “You want this so much—feel yourself right now. You're so wet, you're dripping all over my new comforter. It's disgusting.”

Emma reached a hand under her, trailing down from her stomach to between her legs where Regina was fucking her. Regina wasn't lying. “You want it too,” Emma challenged Regina. 

“Maybe,” Regina said. She pulled out, stopped fucking; she held the tip of the cock against Emma's cunt. Emma backed up, trying to reach it, but Regina pulled away further and Emma moaned in frustration. 

“You're just as disgusting as me,” Emma continued, sounding bolder than she felt, but enjoying herself. “You're the one with a closet full of weird bondage gear.”

She heard Regina laugh again, and Emma knew she was in trouble. She waited, tensing up her muscles. It was like bracing for impact.

Finally Regina broke the silence. “Are you any good at drawing, Sheriff Swan?”

“What? You want me to draw you a picture right now?”

“No. But I want you to _imagine_ drawing something for me.”

“What is wrong with you?”

“Do you want me to fuck you again?”

“Yes. Fine. Fine! What should I imagine?”

“How about a tree?” Regina suggested.

“A tree?”

“Yes. A family tree. There you are, at the bottom. In a little box. Emma Swan. Then who's right above you? Your parents?”

“Mary Margaret and David.”

“Imagine drawing an arrow up to them, then. And who's above them?”

“I don't follow.”

“Of course you don't,” Regina said, reaching out and beginning to rub her finger against Emma's clit in slow circles. “Who are Mary Margaret's parents?”

“The king and—uh, her dead mom.”

“What about her step-mother?”

“That's you.” It took a few seconds for the realization to sink in. “Oh, shit.”

“Yes, that's right,” Regina said. “I'm your step-grandmother.” She slammed her cock into Emma then, taking Emma's breath away. “I'm your step-grandmother. You wanted your step-grandmother to fuck you. How's that for disgusting?” She continued to rub her finger against Emma's clit, and Emma felt an orgasm begin to build. 

Emma could only moan into her own hand, too humiliated to dare articulate any response. 

“Say it, my filthy little girl,” Regina said, grabbing a fist of Emma's hair with her other free hand, yanking Emma's head back. “Tell me who I am.”

“You're my step-grandmother." Shockingly, she liked the sound of her own voice; maybe she even liked the sound of the words, and she found herself saying louder, “I'm getting fucked by my step-grandmother.” She came on Regina's cock and on her hand. It felt like falling. 

Afterwards, Regina slowly undressed Emma, folding up her clothes and setting them carefully at the edge of the bed. She stroked Emma's bare back and her stomach, kissed her softly and warmly. She said, more sweetly than Emma thought possible, “That was delightful." She added, "Grandmothers need love, too,” as she pulled down her own underwear; and Emma, always clueless and brave, went in head first.


End file.
